Trampled Heart
by ImNotCallingYouALiar
Summary: "It had taken only two seconds for me to give my heart to him yet ten years before I realised he had been walking all over it.  Jared Thail would no longer hold my heart in his hands."  Rated T for safety. A Kim/Jared story.
1. Chapter 1

It was a Monday, I don't know why I think that's important, bad things normally happen on a Monday don't they? The first day of the school week. The dreaded early mornings. The really bad hair day. Coincidently a Monday would also be the day my heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

I just realised I really, really hate Mondays.

It was raining, which isn't unusual in La Push, what was unusual was the murky grey sky that hid the beautiful starlet night. There was an icy wind that continuously slapped me in the face as I ran, it blew against me making my strides smaller. As normal my route took me along first beach, only the angry crashing of the waves spoke to me.

Also as normal my gaze lingered on the group of drunkards laying around in the sand, many discarded bottles lying around unforgotten. I longed to run over and hold my hands up to the dancing flames of the fire instead I pushed towards home, I would save myself the embarrassment of being turned away.

Jared wasn't with his friends, I cursed myself for even noticing. Briefly I remember the sharp pain in my stomach at his absence, I spoke harshly to myself before continuing on my run.

My obsession- obsession is too strong of a word- started when I was six, I dropped my ice cream in the floor and Jared gave me one of his mother's home made cookies. He had quickly found the way to my heart, I mean what girl can honestly resist a warm chocolate chip cookie? I definitely couldn't.

I gave my heart away too easily, if only he actually noticed me, maybe if my black hair hadn't been so boring and if my russet coloured skin hadn't just blended in with everyone else's, maybe just maybe he would of noticed me then.

It took only two minutes to fall in love with Jared Thail, if only it took two minutes to fall out of love, life would be so much easier.

As I neared the end of my run my muscles began to protest, a fiery sensation clawed at my legs. Puffing I slowed down my pace considerably, the rain began to pound on my shaking form. Just bloody typical!

Everything and everyone was the same in La Push, if you were different you would be penalised for it. Every house was the same spiritless, washed out grey colour. In every driveway sat the same rundown truck. Only the chipped red painted door and the rows upon rows of my mother's flowers identified my house from the rest.

For approximately fifteen seconds I didn't realise what was going on right in front of me. It was as though my mind had been spray painted white, everything lacked colour. At first all I saw when I stumbled through the back door was a flurry of hands. A hand leaning on the kitchen counter for support. Hands grabbing at hair. Hands creeping up my sister's shirt. My sister's shirt!

It was then that I saw his face. His wide brown eyes that I had so often dreamed of following my every move were darkened with lust as he drunk in my older sister's curvaceous body. His long black hair was tangled up in my sister's fingers, for a moment I wondered if it felt silky and smooth, I had often longed to touch his hair. His mouth was leering down at my sister as she sucked playfully on his ear, it was not the lazy grin that I expected. My eyes drifted once again to his hands, slowly creeping up my sister's shirt.

Clamping my eyes shut I shook my head. I felt suddenly nauseous. I could of sworn that my heart had stopped beating. A string of curses echoed throughout the tiny kitchen as I clattered against mum's favourite plates sending them flying to the floor. A girly squeal burned my ears.

Then it was silent. Too silent.

I tried to erase everything I had just witnesses. Wipe it from memory, but my mouth continued to feel dry and my eyes continued to sting. I would not show weakness in front of them. I would not!

"Kim?" Bethany sounded flustered. I felt my cheeks turning pink as I continued to back away. I didn't open my eyes, I couldn't open my eyes, I was afraid of what I would see.

"Kim!" Bethany said again.

Turning my back on my big sister I ran faster than I had ever ran before.

"Who was _that_?"

I would of recognised that voice anywhere. He didn't even know who I was. My heart continued to shatter around me, I felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the chest. My feet carried me back on my familiar route, the rain came down in sheets of ice. I was so, incredibly cold.

"I hate him!" I screamed, my voice sounded raw. Animal like.

It had taken only two seconds for me to give my heart to him yet ten years before I realised he had been walking all over it.

Jared Thail would no longer hold my heart in his hands.

_Thoughts? Should i continue?_


	2. Damn you Jared Thail!

_Thank you all so much for all the great reviews I received. I don't think I've ever got so many reviews for one chapter! And in answer to some of your reviews Kim's sister Bethany did not know of Kim's crush *cough* I mean obsession with Jared. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you all. Enjoy __J_

"Kim?"

My eyelids felt as though they were sticking together and I resisted the urge to throw up in the nearest trashcan. Running a hand through my knotted hair I gazed into the depths of my locker trying to remember what I was looking for.

"Kim!"

Startled I let out a cry as I whipped round. Laila leant against the locker beside mine, her normally luscious blonde hair was shoved up in a bun yet somehow she seemed to pull off the effortless beauty look that would have taken me hours to achieve. Groaning I slammed my locker shut, Laila laughed airily as I cowered away from the loud banging sound.

"What about your Biology book?"

Damn! That was what I had been looking for. Sliding down the lockers I held my knees up to my chest and frowned at Laila's smirk.

"I suppose you can borrow mine," she grinned, "just for today though."

"Why are you so _cheery_?" I mumbled as I glanced at the nearby clock. Five minutes until class. It was going to be just horrendous.

"I'm just a cheery person," she smiled brightly, but if I looked closely enough I could make out the faint purple bruising under her eyes.

Ha! She was just as tired as me.

"You had as much to drink as me, in fact, I think you had more." I whined.

"Well darling, it's just that I can tolerate my drink and you cant." Her tone was mocking. I buried my head in my hands.

"Remind me again why we decided cocktails would be a good idea on a Sunday night?" Several people snickered at my croaky voice as they walked by. Laila narrowed her eyes at them all.

"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time. We were celebrating the new you," she slid down to join me on the floor, "it was all part of your reinvention. The Kim who no longer lusts after a certain Jared Thail."

I smacked her arm half heartedly.

"Keep your voice down," I hissed, "and I did not _lust _after him."

Laila just rolled her eyes at me and stuck her foot out so an unsuspecting passer by stumbled forward. I bit back a laugh.

"Whatever you say," she sighed. Avoiding her gaze I watched the rain leave tear tracks on the nearby window. It was going to be a long day.

"It doesn't matter now," I spoke through gritted teeth, "I'm over him."

I really was.

"Really? How long has he been gone for?"

"Seventeen days." I couldn't prevent the word vomit from toppling out.

"Everyone knows that," I cried as I tried to push myself to my feet.

There had been an empty seat next to met in English for seventeen uneventful days. In some ways it was a blessing in others a curse. I just wanted to know if he was alright, I'm sure everyone else was wondering the same thing.

"I didn't."

Ignoring her I pushed through the throng of people keeping my eyes glued to the muddy floor as not to slip. Idiotically my eyes stung with tears, my bag strap dug painfully into my shoulder.

"Kim. Kim! Wait!" Laila called desperately after me. Angry, I increased my pace my eyes still fixed on the floor. I let out a muffled curse as I slammed into someone's chest, my face burned red as laughter bubbled around me. Spinning around I began to take off but someone placed a warm hand on my arm.

"Are you alright?"

The voice was surprisingly soft with a hint of worry. Reluctantly I dragged my own eyes from the ground to meet a pair of curious blue ones, not warm brown like Jared's but then again they were looking down at me and not my sister there for they were definately nothing like Jareds. I swallowed. My throat felt thick.

"Fine," I murmured.

"I'm Tom," he smiled. Inwardly I flinched at his surgically whitened teeth.

"I know," I admitted before clamping my hand over my mouth in horror. Why the hell did I say that? Think fast. Think fast!

"W-we don't g-get many new student. I-I've just heard about you is all," I stuttered as Laila glided easily up to stand beside me, I threw a grateful smile her way. His white blonde hair fell across his eyes and I ignored the itch in my hand to move it away. Why did i have to go and get all nervous? Nice one Kim!

"You're the guy from California," Laila narrowed her eyes. Tom only laughed at her icy tone but I elbowed her harshly in the ribs, her mouth was set in a straight line although I could see the mischievous sparkle behind her eyes. What was she up to?

My palms were sweaty and I could feel my hair sticking to my forehead, I was not good at meeting new people. Especially boys. I supressed a groan, I was such a little loser.

"I'm having a get to know you party this weekend at my house. You girls up for it? his smile was infectious.

Desperately I racked my brain for some excuse.

"Well you see I have homework and-" I began.

"We'd love to," Laila spoke quickly interrupting my nervous rant. I was about to elbow her again when I saw Tom's whole face light up. Great. Just great.

"Alright. I'll see you then," he jogged off to a waiting crowd of boys. Silently we watched as he disappeared through a set of swinging doors.

"What did you do that for?" I hissed.

Laila just smiled sheepishly as the bell echoed throughout the whole school. My head continued to thump.

"I have to go to Spanish," she smiled tightly.

"Laila!" I was so incredibly angry at her.

"What?" she snapped, "What is your problem? It's a party. Only a party. God! Live a little." With those words of wisdom she left me standing alone in the middle of a crowded hallway, she didn't look back. Sniffing back tears I walked in a daze to English, not even pausing to gaze around the classroom before I fell into my seat.

What was my problem?

Briefly I thought about the lone diary hidden under my mattress, the one I refused to let Laila burn. That was my problem. He was my problem. I slouched further down in my chair. I felt like screaming. If it was the last thing I ever did, I was going to get over Jared Thail. Maybe just maybe Laila had the right idea. Maybe Tom would be just the thing to get my mind off Jared.

As if in a trance I got out my crumpled English book and tried unsuccessfully to listen to the teacher. Hushed whispers interrupted my thoughts and then Mrs. Atera's sharp voice made me jump.

"Is that Jared?" I heard someone whisper. My head snapped up of its own accord, I could not hold back a gasp but I was not the only one. What had happened to him?

His brown eyes seemed dark but not with lust as I had witnessed the last time but with anger, he had to be almost seven foot, yet I noticed the tense set of his mouth before I noticed his height. I felt like a wounded animal as my eyes flickered to his almost non existent hair, all of his silky black hair was gone, my heart clenched in my chest.

"Nice of you to join us Mr Thail. Take a seat and copy your partner's notes."

I tried to remember how to breath, my stomach seemed to plummet as Jared took a graceful step towards our desk. Quickly I dropped my gaze trying to become lost in the text. I winced as the chair legs scratched along the floor. My breath came out in a rush as his arm brushed mine, immediately he jerked it away. Breathing deeply I tried to steady my heartbeat, I could hear the whispers still floating around the room, I felt Jared tense beside me.

He's a jerk I reminded myself. Last time you saw him he had his hand up your sister's shirt. Unintentionally I gripped my hand tighter around my pencil.

"Can I borrow your notes?"

I must of jumped a foot in the air. When had his voice become so low and hypnotizing? Damn you Jared Thail. Damn you!

"S-sure," I stuttered. My plan had been to sound angry yet aloof. Epic fail.

"Thank you."

Surprised my eyes flashed to his for milli-second. Had Jared Thail just thanked me?

As if sensing my eyes on his he looked up. My breath caught in my throat as his eyes widened and he leant closer to me as if to better get a better view. I flinched away.

He frowned but continued to stare intently into my eyes, abruptly I dropped my gaze. I knew if I slapped him I would get into a hell of a lot of trouble, so reluctantly I resisted the urge. Furious I busied myself taking notes, every time I glanced up his eyes would still be on me. My skin seemed to tingle under his gaze. I shivered. What was his problem?

Did I have something on my face?

_Thoughts?_


	3. Broken

_Thank you so much for all of your reviews._

"Your pen's going to snap if you keep gripping it so tight."

Ignoring him I gripped it even tighter and kept my eyes focused on the Mrs Atera as she paced up and down the front of the classroom. The notes she had given made no sense and I had no idea about what I was supposed to do. I could feel a red blush creeping up my neck. He was still staring! My chair creaked underneath me as I wriggled about and tried to get as far away from him as possible.

"Can you help me? I have no idea what we're supposed to do." I flinched away from his warm breath, it tickled my neck. Biting my lip to hold back a retort I resisted the urge to look up at him, knowing that if I did my stubbornness would evaporate.

"Can you at least tell me your name?"

I wanted to scream. I wanted to break his nose. Instead I pushed out of my seat and took a large step away from him. My hands curled into fists.

"Miss Connweller? Is there a problem?"

My breath came out in a rush as people began to laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jared's hands gripping the table as if restraining himself from standing up.

"I d-don't feel well," I offered weakly, it wasn't a lie, I was feeling suspiciously nauseous. I could feel Jared's eyes on the back of my head, I felt myself beginning to sweat.

"Alright dear. Jared would you escort Kim to the nurses office?"

No. No! Did everyone in the fricken universe enjoying seeing me in pain? Not pausing to wait for Jared I stumbled towards the door, taking a deep breath as I stepped out into the hallway.

"Kim. Wait!" his voice sounded anxious, worried. Sniffing back tears I increased my pace keeping my eyes trained on the ground. I knew he would catch me quickly. Racking my brain I tried to remember where the nearest toilet was. Taking a right I increased to a slow jog.

"Kim!"

I shrieked as he placed his hand on my arm, holding his hands up in surrender he took a step back. His brown eyes were wide and troubled, they never left my face.

"What do you want?" I snapped taking another step away from him. Why did he look so _wounded_? I had always imagined his eyes following my every move, funny how the tables had turned and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to gauge his eyes out with a spoon.

I shivered.

"Are you cold?" he took a hesitant step toward me. Silently I backed up against a row of lockers.

"What do you want?" I repeated, my tone icy. Where had all my courage come from? A tremor ran through his body as he continued to stare at me, I glared unconvincingly back.

"I just wanted to know your name," he said weakly. For a moment my heart stuttered in my chest before picking back up. I swallowed.

He had sat beside me in English for four years. We both lived in the same tiny reservation. My father was on the council. He had given me a cookie when I was six years old. I had helped him with an essay once. I was on the school track team. And he wanted to know my name. Looking down at my hands I noticed they were still shaped like fists, swinging one back I hit out at his jaw. A loud crack echoed throughout the halls.

"Holy crap!" I screamed, "shit. Shit. Shit!"

Jared took two hurried steps towards me.

"Stay away from me," I cried cradling my hand to my chest.

"Shit," he murmured, "is your hand alright?"

If my hand hadn't of hurt so damn much I would have lunged at him.

"Just great," I muttered sourly, "stay away from me!" Turning I began to walk away but he backed me against the lockers, all seven foot of him leaning over me. An electric spark travelled throughout my whole body.

"I'll scream," I whispered quietly. His body seemed to slouch at my words.

"Please don't," he trailed a lone finger across my cheek. I tried to control my reactions. Not thinking clearly I opened my mouth to scream. Jared's trembling body intensified until he was almost full on shaking.

"What's going on here?" a voice growled. Jared didn't even attempt to move back, I swallowed back a sob instead letting out a gasp of relief. Jared squeezed his eyes shut as if he was in pain.

"What's going on here?" the voice repeated. Shrinking back against the lockers I brought my hand closer to my chest, I would of recognised that voice anywhere. Just bloody brilliant! Luck was definitely on my side.

"I think he broke my hand," I spoke through gritted teeth, as I spoke my hand throbbed in pain as if enhancing my words. Jared continued to shake.

"Jared?" Paul almost sounded confused.

Of course he was confused. I had a sudden urge to smack myself. He was probably thinking what the hell Jared was doing talking to plain Kim Connweller. Almost reflexively I whimpered. Jared's eyes snapped open and he let out a low growl.

"Jared! Do I need to call Sam?"

Paul's words seemed to break Jared out of his trance, slowly he backed away from me. I tried to make myself as small as possible, I bit my bottom lip as pain shot through my injured hand.

"Kim? Are you alright?" Paul's eyes flickered between Jared and I and then down to my injured hand, thoroughly confused, I didn't blame him. I couldn't get my mouth to function properly. I was frozen.

Jared stood a few feet away from me, his brown eyes also fixed on my injured hand.

"What happened?" Paul nodded to my hand. Jared snarled and punched the nearby wall. My mouth dropped open in shock as he drew his hand back and I noticed the dent in the wall.

Oh my God!

"I-I punched h-him," my eyes were welling up with tears as Jared turned to gaze at me some more, I couldn't muster up any strength to glare back. Paul's laughter made me jump, a tear trickled slowly down my flushed cheeks.

"You p-punched Jared!" Paul gasped between laughs, he held onto his side. I had come to realise I didn't really like Paul much either. Although I had come to the realisation that I absolutely loathed Jared Thail. Another tear rolled down my cheek, I looked desperately around for an escape.

"You broke her hand?"

Paul was still laughing.

Without warning Jared lunged at him, wrapping his enormous hands around his neck. Paul looked momentarily surprised before he began to fight back. Jared's nose began to drip with blood as Paul's fist connected with it. A loud bang shook the hallway as their bodies crashed together. I let out a scream.

Paul tackled Jared to the ground, both snarled as they wrestled around on the floor. There was blood everywhere, I was beginning to feel sick. It was then that I noticed they were both shaking. Trembling I took a hesitant step down the corridor, they were both too busy snarling at each other to notice, I could of sworn I heard them growling at each other as well. Still trembling I broke into a run, my legs quivered underneath me. Still sobbing I breathed in the fresh air as I burst through the entrance. Risking a look over my shoulder I was grateful to see no one following me.

"Kim?" a startled voice asked. Turning abruptly around I spotted Tom lying leisurely on the nearby grass a cigarette dangling from his lips. Another sob racked my body, I let my injured hand fall limply by my side. Just barely I could still hear the snarling of Jared and Paul from inside.

"Can you take me to the hospital?" the tears continued to fall uselessly down my cheeks.

"Of course," Tom stubbed out his cigarette and took a cautious step towards me.

"Kim!" My whole body seemed to go on fire at the sound of his voice. I could here him getting closer. Not allowing myself one more glance I followed Tom to his car.

Only when I was safely inside and slouching down on the seat did I allow myself to look. But there was only a pile of ripped clothes where Jared should have been.

My heart sank.

_Thoughts?_


	4. Chocolate biscuits!

_Wow like thirty reviews for this story. Just wow! You guys are great. I hope you like this chapter. Here we go…._

I had a dilemma. A serious one.

Who's bloody brilliant idea was it to put my favourite packet of chocolate biscuits on the highest shelve in the whole bloody shop?

I sighed.

Normally this wasn't such a dilemma. Normally I could jump up and grab it or improvise and use some of the other shelves as a makeshift ladder. Normally. But obviously nothing about this shopping trip was normal and it was all Jared Thail's fault.

Never before had I realised how lucky I was to have two functioning hands. It is a lot harder than it looks than open a bottle of water with one hand or get dressed, or reach a packet of chocolate biscuits. I couldn't wait until they would take the horrid cast off, every time I looked at it I thought of _him_.

Shaking my head to rid it of my delirious thoughts (it was all down to the painkillers I was on) I peered once again up at the top shelve. There was no way. Utterly defeated I glanced hopefully around the shop. Almost instantly I noticed Embry Call sitting on the nearby counter talking eagerly to Jacob Black. Both of them had gotten so big lately, there was no way I was going to ask them for help. Sue Clearwater shuffled by with an armful of shopping, she was even smaller than me so she was going to be of no help.

Great. Just great.

I had made a special effort to get off my lazy ass and walk all the way to the shop to buy much needed comfort food and when I finally got there I couldn't get my favourite biscuits! My eyes glistened, I knew I was being utterly pathetic but I didn't care. Laila said I was becoming too damn emotional, secretly I believed her.

I wondered if my dad was still at the latest council meeting, he had been attending a lot of them. Was I seriously thinking of calling my dad so he could reach a packet of biscuits for me?

I truly was pathetic. A loser. A nobody.

Wiping my eyes with the back of my eyes I accepted that I wasn't going to get the damn biscuits. Clutching my basket with my good hand I took a step back and let out a scream, dropping my shopping in the process.

"Damn Jared, you cant just sneak on someone like that," my voice came out in a rush, I felt light-headed.

Wait. Rewind.

Jared. Jared?

Oh hell.

Finally realisation whacked me in the face and I plastered a glare on my face. Reflexively I held my injured hand into my chest, I saw Jared's eyes flicker towards it, I swore I saw him wince. My breath came out as a squeak as I took a step back and banged into the shelves, he always seemed to be cornering me. A packet of biscuits fell to the floor as I banged against the shelves. My favourite ones. Why hadn't I thought of that in the first place?

Jared took a step towards me, realising I had nowhere to go I felt my cheeks flush red as he brushed against me, out of habit my heart rate increased and my gaze dropped to the floor.

He's an ass I chanted in my head. He's an ass. It was becoming my own personal mantra. Didn't mean he wasn't a hot ass though. I let out a stream of curse words in my head.

Stupid, stupid Kim.

"Sorry," his breath was warm on my face, "I didn't mean to scare you."

Oh God. I was in serious danger of becoming a puddle of mush on the floor. Just because I hated him couldn't mean I couldn't find him attractive. Right?

His smiling brown eyes never left my flushed face as he bent down to retrieve all of my stuff. I flushed even brighter as he carelessly tossed a packet of tampons back into the basket. Oh God! Why was I such an embarrassment all the time? Couldn't I ever be normal?

I had lost the ability to move or speak. Admitably I wasn't doing anything, I felt frozen with his eyes on me. My back was still pressed painfully up against the shelves and I knew my eyes were impossibly wide. Even if he did like me, which I seriously doubted, he was going to think I was clinically insane and definitely go back to the old game of let's ignore Kim.

Distantly I was aware that Quil Atera had entered the shop and was chatting loudly with a harassed Sue Clearwater. I was busy trying to calculate how long it would take me to side step Jared and sprint out of the shop when the man in question let out a cough, my mind immediately went blank again. Damn!

"Kim?"

He was standing too close again, I was beginning to doubt wither he knew the meaning of personal breathing space. In one of his hands he held my basket of shopping and with the other he was scratching at his head as if he was confused. Good, he should be bloody confused, he should get to experience that to.

"Kim?" he repeated.

"Jared," I sighed, the icy emotionless tone that I had been practising all week had completely deserted me in my time of need. Just bloody brilliant! I wasn't even listening to my own reasonable thoughts any longer. What was the world coming to? Everything was fine, perfectly dandy until he had to come along and ruin everything. Desperately I tried to grab my shopping out of his hand but he dangled it effortlessly out of my reach.

"You haven't been in school all week," he said softly, "is everything all right?"

He should really learn to keep his mouth shut, I had almost forgotten our little predicament until he had spoken. I was actually a little sad that I was going to have to be mad at him again, but that didn't last too long.

"Well noticed," I kept my tone deliberately even, "in case you haven't noticed I hurt my hand punching you and I haven't been feeling too well so I decided to take the week off. Not that its really any of your concern but Laila has been getting work for me to do."

Jared visibly slouched under the impact of my words, I tried to be glad but for some reason my heart just seemed to tighten. It was so unfair! How come I was never aloud to be happy? How come I was never aloud to have the final word? It just wasn't fair!

"Kim," he smiled a little when he said my name, "I am so, so sorry. I am such an idiot. Please let me make it up to you."

For the briefest of seconds he almost looked like he meant every word. The way his eyes burned painfully into mine and how his whole body was crouched towards mine I could almost believe he liked me. He definitely deserved a place in the next school play, if I didn't hate him so much maybe I would of suggested it to him. Nothing in life was ever simple.

I smiled sadly and Jared's eyes instantly lit up. I was so tried, everything was too complicated. I squeezed my eyes shut as I scripted my next words in my head.

"Look," I whispered softly, "it isn't funny to mess with people's feelings Jared. I appreciate that there's probably a big prize at the end of this bet or dare your trying to win. I don't mind telling whoever you want me to that you got me to sleep with you or whatever….just please stop messing with me. It hurts too damn much." My voice broke and I kept my eyes shut, too afraid to open them.

My breathing was ragged. I was suddenly unbelievable warm. Snapping my eyes open I bit back a gasp.

Jared looked _wild_. His brown eyes were dilated and his ragged breathing matched mine perfectly, I was almost sad when he snapped them shut. My breath caught as he grabbed my good arm, his nails dug painfully into my skin.

I braced myself for his anger. For more lies. Secretly I wondered how much more I could take.

"You think I'm doing all this for a _dare_? To get you to _sleep_ with me?" he spat. I recoiled from his words, his nails dug deeper into my skin as his whole body began to shake. He was scaring me.

"A dare?" he repeated. I was surprised my heartbeat wasn't echoing around the room. My tongue flicked out to lick my dry lips, my knees felt as though they were about to give way.

"Jared. Please…" I whimpered. He was hurting me!

"Kim!" his eyes flashed as he brought his face even closer to mine, " this. Is. Not. A. dare."

Breathlessly I let out a weak, unconvincing laugh. I was seeing stars.

"Just stop. Just stop," I screamed.

The shaking intensified. His eyes grew dark.

"Just stop," my voice was surprisingly calm, "Stop!"

My vision blurred, I absently realised that I was crying. Crying!

"Hey!" a distant voice called, "what's going on? Are you alright?"

Jared stiffened but the shaking did not stop. His warm hand caressed my cheek. I felt myself leaning into the warmth. My blurred vision was filled with his burning brown orbs.

"Hey!" the voice called again.

"You will believe me," he growled.

And then he was gone.

Burying my head in my hands I sunk to the round, distantly I heard things crash around me, I choked out a sob. I was discovering that Jared Thail had a talent to make me cry. My head thumped, it was hard to think straight. Embry Call, Jacob Black and Quil Atera all crowded around me, their frowning faces made more tears well up in my eyes.

"Are you alright?" Embry looked wary, my tears were probably scaring him off.

"Did Jared do something? I'll go hit him if he has," Jacob Black growled. Actually growled. My heart clenched painfully tight.

"What's going on?" Quil's face was confused, I actually managed to bark out a dry laugh. Distantly I heard rustling as Embry opened a nearby packet of biscuits.

"Want one?" he smiled carefully.

"Their my favourite," I finally managed to speak but I didn't take a biscuit, " can you please take me home?"

I sniffed back a fresh set of tears.

"Of course," Jacob smiled.

They were all being so kind. Quil still looked confused. Before I could react Jacob had flung me up into his arms, I didn't even have the energy to protest instead I snuggled deeply into his warm chest.

"Thank you," I whispered and I truly meant it.

Jared Thail was seriously messing me up.

_Thoughts?_


	5. First Kiss

_Thanks once again for all your amazing reviews, I do try to reply to everyone. You guys keep me going. Sorry it took me so long to update. Anyway here we go…._

Sometimes I wondered how I got myself into certain situations. I really had to get into the habit of saying no, maybe I should practice saying it in front of the mirror so when the time came to say it I wouldn't be such a pushover.

My life would have been a whole lot easier if the countless times Bethany had asked me to cover for her I had just said no. Or the times when people needed extra tutoring in maths. Or in more recent years giving in to Laila's relentless begging, she had a talent of making me crack.

Desperately I searched around the room for an escape. My Dad was slouched far down in his favourite armchair sipping routinely from his can of beer, he let out a belly laugh as he caught my eye. Laila smiled at me triumphantly as she examined her make up in the nearby mirror. I sighed.

"Go out and have some fun kiddo," my Dad smiled his usual toothy grin, I couldn't muster up enough strength to glare back.

"Yes. _Fun._" Laila rolled her eyes at me dramatically as she walked easily towards me in her gigantic heels, "you need a little of that."

"But-" I began to protest.

"You promised Tom," Laila tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and shot me reassuring smile. My Dad let out another laugh at my horrified expression.

"My hand-" I was cut off again. Was I ever going to get a chance to speak?

"Is perfectly fine," Laila looked down at her perfectly manicured nails, "did you or did you not go out a run today?"

"Yes but-"

"She has a point Kim."

Wasn't a Dad supposed to discourage you from going out? Weren't his eyes supposed to roll into his head when he saw me in a short skirt? But no instead I was stuck with a Dad who _encouraged _me to go out. Life just wasn't fair!

"You'll be lonely," I spoke softly, Dad smiled sadly at me.

"I'll go over to Billy's if I get too lonely."

A horn blasted from outside, I jumped a foot up in the air. Laila grinned and grabbed onto my arm. Frowning down at the tiny skirt I wore and the low necked blouse I grabbed one of my Dad's big jackets to put over the top. Laila frowned disapprovingly at me.

"Be safe," my Dad called after us, "don't drink too much."

Laila pretended to act innocent and widen her eyes, my Dad just shooed us towards the door. The icy wind slapped me in the face as I stepped outside. It was so damn cold. Most days I hated living in La Push.

"I put a sandwich in the fridge for you in case you get hungry," I called over my shoulder. Laila rolled her eyes again and continued to drag me towards the monstrous red truck loitering by the sidewalk.

"Who are we getting a lift from?" I grabbed onto Laila with my good arm as I wobbled in my heels, the moon was my only source of light.

"Oh, Paul offered."

I halted to a stop, my breath came out as a gasp.

"What?" Laila's teeth chattered in the cold.

"Paul? Really Laila?" my voice was raised to compete with the constant onslaught of the wind, "Jared's best friend? _Paul_?"

Laila smiled weakly at me, her normally pale cheeks flushed. My heart thudded loudly in my chest.

"He offered," her voice was hesitant, "and we had no other way to get there. I mean you don't drive and I don't drive."

"Why don't you drive again?" my voice was bitter.

The horn sounded again making me curl my good hand into a fist with frustration.

"Why don't you?" she retorted.

"Are you coming or what?" a gruff voice sliced through the air. I blushed a deep red, I hoped he hadn't heard anything we had said. Hesitantly I slipped my Dad's old jacket over my revealing clothes as Laila dragged me to the car. I avoided her gaze. Sometimes I wondered how I ended up in certain situations. Falling gracelessly into the back seat I was pleasantly surprised at how clean it was. A certain wet pine smell lingered in the air, I swallowed noisily, it reminded me of Jared.

"Ladies," Paul frowned as he pressed down on the gas peddle. I felt unsettled as his gaze lingered on my exposed legs, I chewed on my bottom lip as I slouched further down in my seat.

"Paul," Laila smiled widely, I think she was mad at me, "thanks so much for giving us a lift, we didn't really want to walk."

I pressed a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing, I hadn't wanted to go at all. Paul winked at me in the rear-view mirror, I glared back.

"It was no problem, we cant have anything happening to Kim now. Can we?"

I stiffened instantly. Laila looked a little wounded as she leaned back into her seat. He was so insensitive, couldn't he see that she obviously liked him? Boys are jerks.

"You don't even know me," I spat. It was true, we only conversed politely because once upon a time our mother's had been friends. Maybe once we ourselves had even been friends, but he didn't know the new Kim and if I had anything to do with it he never would. I really didn't like him, he made my top ten hated list along with Jared.

"Not yet," he breathed. For some reason I felt the need to avoid his burning gaze so I shifted my eyes to his spotless floor. A feeling of uneasiness held me in its strong clutches. I shivered.

Laila was unusually quiet, I felt like a bitch for taking all my pent up frustrations out on her. Gently taking her hand I squeezed it. Without looking I knew Paul was watching our little exchange. Strangely I wondered what he thought of me, I wondered if I wasn't what he expected, I hoped I was surprising him. People never really got to know me, they saw the plain, mousy girl that I was perceived to be and never thought to dig a little deeper, it was usually the way I liked it. Paul was different though, I wanted to prove him wrong if it was the last thing I ever did, I felt this strange desire to impress him but I pushed it carelessly aside.

"How's Bethany?" he spoke suddenly.

I felt like I had been physically slapped on the face. My cheeks flamed red, Paul looked at me curiously while I felt Laila's hand tighten around mine. I couldn't get my lips to move. Was he mocking me? Or was he genuinely curious?

"She is your sister isn't she?" Paul's eyebrows were furrowed as if he was trying to solve a difficult maths equation.

"Yes she is," I said weakly.

My palms were sweaty. Secretly I knew Bethany had no knowledge of my obsession with Jared but yet every time she came home I found ways to avoid her and when we were forced into the same room we scarcely spoke. I felt bad about pinning the blame on her but my jealousy consumed me and I had forgotten how to act myself around her. Yet another thing Jared had successfully ruined.

"How is she then? Jared and I used to know her months back. She was great fun," Paul's face suddenly went blank as if something had just fallen into place, he glanced at me once again in the rear-view mirror, "oh shit!"

I stayed silent, my heart hammered continuously in my chest. I felt a little woozy.

"That's why you don't like him," Paul muttered more to himself than anyone else. Laila's hand twitched as if she was dying to hurt him.

"No," I spat surprising everyone including myself, "I don't like him because he's an ass. A self centred, man whore who gets kicks out of childish dares and making me cry." The words felt all wrong in my mouth, like I was betraying some big secret. Beside me Laila's eyes widened. I wasn't going to be weak any longer. I hated being weak.

"Keep telling yourself that sweetheart," Paul's lips turned upwards, "keep telling yourself that and you might believe it."

My mouth felt dry. How could he see so easily through my lies?

The car rolled to a halt. Not waiting for anyone I stumbled from the car swallowing the sickness that had risen in my throat during the ride. Distantly I could hear Laila calling my name but I didn't stop. I felt like I was going to explode. How dare Paul talk to me like that? How dare he!

A hesitant cough broke through my internal rant. Stopping dead in my tracks I became absorbed in a pair of brown eyes. Jared leant casually against the wall a drink in both hands, he smiled when he saw me. Surprisingly I felt the need to burst into tears, he really wanted to win his dare. It was all so bloody unfair. He was being so sweet. Why couldn't he of noticed me before? Before everything? Still smiling he advanced slowly towards me. I dug my fingernails into my palms.

"Stay away from me," even I was surprised by my icy tone, "just stay away."

Grabbing one of the drinks from his limp hands I strode by him trying to keep the tears at bay.

Heat engulfed me as I stumbled through the house. The smell of sweat and alcohol was overwhelming. Several couples littered the stairs and people danced body to body in the tiny lounge. Music thundered throughout the house giving me a headache. I slung back the drink, the expectant burn of alcohol didn't come instead water slid easily down my throat. I scowled. Stupid Jared!

Didn't he realise I wanted to get drunk?

As someone grabbed at my arse I spat out a curse. There were people everywhere! Slightly dizzy I wandered into the crowded kitchen and grabbed a lukewarm beer from the keg.

"Kim!" a voice called. Whirling around I fell into the open arms of Tom, I let out a startled scream while he laughed airily and placed me back on my feet, his chest was pressed against mine. A shiver ran down my spine. He swayed from side to side. It was obvious he was already drunk. Very drunk by the looks of things.

"You came?" his smile was blinding and I felt the need to shelter my eyes. A burning sensation travelled up my back, Jared was watching me. Taking another deliberate gulp of the beer I sidled up closer to Tom.

"I did," I murmured trying to flutter my eyelashes, I felt extremely stupid but Tom's smile seemed to widen. Behind me I could of sworn I heard a growl. Taking another chug of my beer, I was surprised to find it empty, Tom wordlessly handed me another.

"Want to go outside? I'm gagging for a cigarette."

I fought the urge to cover my nose as his alcohol induced breath blew over me. Glancing quickly around the kitchen I noticed Paul holding a shaking Jared by the arm. Laila stood in the corner giving me the thumbs up. I tried to smile but it turned out all wobbly.

"Sure," I whispered weakly. Not noticing my hesitation or just ignoring it Tom pulled me towards the open door.

Despite the spit of rain people lounged around on the wet grass. Scanning the garden I noticed a tree swing, I wondered briefly wither Tom had a sister. A couple of empty beer cans lay scattered around alongside a forgotten water gun and a deflated paddling pool.

Tom's grip on my arm tightened as we passed a coupled of boys sitting on the grass smoking. He didn't let me go until we were far away from the others. I wrapped my arms tight around my body, I felt wary. Unsure. I wasn't completely sure why I had followed Tom. The loud music and warmth felt suddenly much more appealing.

Tom lit up a cigarette and leant against a nearby wall. It was so much like the way Jared had stood earlier, my breath caught in my throat.

"Want a drag?" His eyes were rimmed red and he seemed twitchy as held the cigarette out to me. It smelt wrong, I choked back a cough. Silently I shook my head. I took another long gulp of my beer, it was easier to swallow than the first. Tom's eyes were on me, his gaze didn't make me burn like Jared's instead I felt nervous. A little scared? I looked desperately back towards the house as his mouth turned up into a smirk.

"You look beautiful," he stubbed out his cigarette as he moved stealthily towards me, "what are you hiding under the baggy jacket?"

I felt like I was going to throw up instead I remained completely still as he pressed against me. I didn't feel confident any longer.

Biting back a gasp I tried not to squirm as his hands snaked around my waist. Wasn't I supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy inside? My eyes drifted to the sky as he begun to suck lazily on my neck. It felt nice but I had no butterflies and my heart was not hammering with excitement. A single piece of moon was trying to escape from the spiritless rain clouds.

"Beautiful," Tom murmured into my neck. A gasp escaped from my closed lips as he bit down on the skin. I realised we had been moving backwards as my back hit the cold brick wall. Tom's lips moved slowly up the side of my neck. I squirmed in his grasp as he let out a moan. Distantly I could still hear the music coming from the house but I couldn't move.

Hastily I licked at my dry lips. As his lips advanced upwards his hands roamed downwards. I resisted the urge to push him away as his hand rested on the top of my thigh. Suddenly all I could see were his bottomless blue eyes as he leant in towards me. I felt lost.

At first his lips were gentle on mine. It wasn't what I had expected, his lips were dry not soft and there were no fireworks as he deepened the kiss. It was not at all what I had imagined my first kiss to be like. When his tongue ran along my lips I obediently opened them and soon his tongue was entangled with mine. I could feel bile rising in my throat.

"Tom," I choked out but he only pressed his lips harder against mine. His finger rubbed circles on my exposed legs.

"Tom!" I cried desperately.

He paused only for a moment, but a moment was long enough. Tom's face scrunched up in disgust as I emptied the contents of my dinner all over his shoes.

"Disgusting," Tom spat, "foul."

His words stabbed at my heart repeatedly as he casually lit up another cigarette and stomped off into the darkness leaving me all alone. A tear trailed down my paling cheek as I sunk to the muddy ground. I curled my body over as if to protect myself.

I was so stupid. So stupid.

Hunching over I threw up again, I could feel bits of sick getting stuck in my hair. I felt dirty and cheap. Never again was I going to get another first kiss and I had just handed it away so causally to someone whom I didn't even care about. Another tear rolled soundlessly down my face.

Shivering I buried my head in my hands. The rain began to beat down more heavily.

"Kim?"

Looking up I almost burst into a fresh set of tears. He stood a little way off as if he was afraid of hurting me yet his arms were stretched out as if to embrace me. Embarrassed I sniffed back a fresh set of tears.

"Are you alright?" his voice was kind, he acted like he really cared.

I laughed humourlessly.

"Do I look alright Jared? I'm a mess. A big, fat failure." My words came out more as sobs. My ribs ached from crying and my lips felt numb as if they were detached from my body.

"Your not a failure Kim," Jared pulled me gently up into his arms even though I probably smelt of sick, "lets get you home."

My last thought was of how beautiful he looked in the rain before I fell asleep in his arms.

_I'm not completely happy with the way this turned out._

_Thoughts?_


	6. Rude awakening

_Once again thank you all so much for all your reviews. You guys are amazing! Here we go again…._

Sundays are without a doubt my favourite day of the week, there is something so refreshing about snuggling deep down in your bed and not having anything to get up for. Normally everything is calmer on a Sunday, even the rain seems not to hit the ground so hard. I absolutely loved Sundays which was why I was so pissed when I heard the grumbling laughter and the horrible screeching sound as someone cut wood at eight o'clock on a Sunday morning.

Anger clouded my judgement as I stalked past my amused Dad and the mouth watering smell of chocolate chip pancakes out into the garden. The grass squelched underneath me as I stormed around the corner, my bare feet stinging with cold.

"What the bloody hell do you think your doing?"

The instant the words flew from my mouth I wanted to real them back in. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as the voices ceased and three abnormally large men turned to face me. All of them shirtless. One being Jared.

I gulped.

My face flushed red as I tried to look anywhere him but I was failing miserably. Beads of sweat clung to his newly formed muscles and his shorts lay low on his hips leaving little to the imagination. I wanted nothing more than to run my hands over his sculpted body.

"Like something you see?" a gruff voice sounded.

Blinking I tore my eyes away from the God in front of me to see who had spoken, my mouth dropped open yet again.

"Embry?" Even I could hear the accusation in my voice. I just didn't understand. Sweet, caring Embry Call was in my back garden cutting wood with Jared and Paul. My eyes flickered between the three of them, I could feel myself beginning to get whiplash.

"Embry?" My voice was no more than a quiet whisper. He was almost as big as Paul, although slightly smaller than Jared. His muscles seemed so much more dominant than the others, I couldn't ever remember seeing him with muscles before. It was strange how innocent he still looked in such a monstrous body, but how could anyone be afraid of sweet Embry Call?

What did scare me though was the stern set of his forehead and the darkness in his normally bright eyes as he gave me the once over. What had happened to him?

"Oh Embry," I sighed.

His mouth quirked up into a half smile as he advanced quickly towards me and pulled me up into a tight hug. My breath came out as a squeal.

"Do you like my name or something?" he laughed quietly into my ear, "I better let you go or Jared is going to kill me."

As if his words triggered something within me I felt the familiar burn coarse through my body letting me know that Jared was staring, again. With a wide grin spread across his face Embry placed me lightly back on my feet. Swaying a little I resisted the urge to look at Jared. A tingling sensation ran throughout my body and I shivered slightly. Immediately Jared was beside me.

"Are you cold?" his voice was low and I could feel myself growing redder.

"I'm fine," I snapped while Jared's face fell. Embry and Paul shared a smirk, I wanted to hit them, but last time I had tried to hit someone so large it hadn't quite worked out the way I had wanted.

"You sure about that?" Paul's eyes raked up and down my body, "you sure do look cold."

Confused I looked down and had to hold back a scream of curses. My face felt like it was going to explode. In my haste I had stormed outside in a pair of tiny shorts that hardly covered my backside and my oversized Stars Wars shirt. Paul smirked while Jared let out a threatening growl from behind me. Unnecessarily my heart rate sped up a fraction.

Pushing away my irrational thoughts and stupid hormones I tried to summon back the anger that had previously driven me out of my cosy bed.

"What are you even doing _here_?"

They all shared confused glances while Jared tried yet again to step closer to me. Glaring at them, I groaned. I was surprised there was no smoke coming out of my ears.

"In _my _garden?" I elaborated, my feet were becoming numb. It was just a tad cold. My eyes drifted to the electric saw and axes lying around the garden. A pile of wood was slanted to one side as though it was about to fall on us.

"Your Dad asked us to help rebuild your shed," Embry shrugged, "the same Dad who's looking out the window looking a little annoyed."

Whirling around I spotted my Dad pretending to wash the dishes, he smiled guiltily as I frowned at him. Thanks a lot, Dad.

"The same shed that has been out of use for almost three years?" My face scrunched up in confusion. Paul looked pointedly at Jared while Embry hid a smile behind his hand.

"Well?" I was losing my patience. I was cranky in the mornings. Actually cranky is an understatement.

"I may have offered to help rebuild it," Jared shuffled from foot to foot his brown eyes still locked on my shivering body. My attempt at a scowl failed drastically. Why did he have to be so damn hot?

"You didn't have to do that." I kept my eyes on the grass feeling suddenly nervous for some reason.

"I did," he tilted my face up to meet his eyes, I sucked in a shocked breath, "Go out with me? See a movie or something?"

The abrupt change in conversation left me speechless.

Dropping my eyes to the ground I tried not to let him see the flurry of emotions fly across my face. My heart physically ached at the thought of saying no yet a picture of Bethany and him was ingrained in my mind. I felt sick.

"Please?" his soft brown eyes were wide as they looked down at me in expectation. Jared Thail was begging me to go out on a date with him, I almost laughed aloud at the irony of it all. He was actually begging me!

Looking desperately over his shoulder I saw Embry nodding his head up and down eagerly a smile on his face while Paul simply frowned as if expecting me to let his friend down.

Truthfully I didn't think I could handle the pain of having my heart broken. Heaving out a sigh I held back a tear as I gazed into Jared's soulful eyes, I almost lost it there and then. He looked like a cute puppy. A cute, anxious puppy.

"If I go out with you as _friends_," I emphasised the word, "will you leave me alone afterwards?"

Jared's face seemed to light up and then drop in the same instant. I felt like a cold hearted bitch, but it was necessary. Jared seemed to be struggling with my answer, I almost crumpled to the ground as his eyes flashed with pain. Paul and Embry shared sombre looks.

"If we go out," he seemed to be fishing in the air for words, "and you still don't like me then I will leave you alone," he smirked, "but only if you don't like me."

My heart skipped a beat, Jared's smile widened almost as if he could hear it.

"Okay," I found myself saying. I felt a little breathless.

"Great," Jared was bouncing up and down like a little boy, "we can go out straight after school tomorrow."

I almost smiled at his enthusiasm. Almost.

"Fine," I muttered.

Ten minutes later as I crawled back into my bed my only thought was, what the hell had I gotten myself into? The sound of laughter floated up from outside.

Oh God!

I was going on a date with Jared Thail. A part of me was screaming wildly. Grabbing the phone from beside me I dialled Laila's number.

For some reason there was a smile etched upon my face.

_Thoughts?_

_Sorry it's a little short x_


	7. Sparkle

_Thank you all so much for your reviews last chapter. You are all so great. Here's another one…._

Jared wasn't at school. I hated myself for noticing. In English I sat trying unsuccessfully not to stare at the door, waiting for him to stroll in late. He never did.

"He'll be here," Laila didn't sound very sure of her statement. Rolling my eyes I slammed my locker and protested as she dragged me towards the cafeteria. I really didn't feel like eating.

My eyes flickered to their usual table, he wasn't there. None of them were there. Even Embry who never missed school wasn't there. Something was very wrong. Painting a smile on my face I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Kim?"

Realising I was staring into space like an idiot I walked behind Laila towards our usual lunch table. I winced as my chair scraped against the tiled floor.

"Are you okay?" she murmured tugging gently on my arm.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked as I pulled a squashed baguette from my bag. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Quil Atera sitting alone, if I ever saw Embry again I was going to kill him. And where was Jake? Quil looked defeated as he slumped further down in his seat and picked at his lunch. I felt a strange urge to go and join his pity party.

For a minute I longed for the old La Push. The simple La Push. Everything had gotten so complicated and too many people were hurting. I was hurting. It was breaking my heart.

"You know why," Laila sounded concerned, automatically I dragged my eyes back to face her, "he wouldn't stand you up. He wouldn't!"

I only shrugged. My heart squeezed painfully tight at the thought of him standing me up. All too clearly I could visualise me standing in the rain, waiting. Waiting for hours only for him never to turn up. When the bell rang signalling the end of the day I decided I would give him five minutes. Five minutes and no more.

I squealed and jumped out of my seat as someone placed a cold hand on my shoulder. Laila hid a laugh behind her hand and went to bite into her cold pizza. Whirling around in my seat I glared up into the eyes of Tom.

"Oh my God," my voice sounded all wrong, "Tom? What _happened_ to you?"

One of his eyes was surrounded by a huge purple bruise and his nose looked bent out of place. Forgetting momentarily about what had happened at the party I pushed him gently into the seat beside mine. He grimaced as he sat down.

"_Tom_!" I spoke again, "What happened?"

"Lets just say," he winced as he reached down to pull something from his bag, "that I know never to try and kiss you again."

Across the table Laila arched her eyebrows in confusion and I looked at him blankly. His words buzzed around in my head but they made no sense. I couldn't decide wither he was trying to be insulting or not.

"What?"

He scratched at the back of his neck and smiled weakly at me as his blue eyes widened in understanding.

"Look what's done is done. I now know not to mess with you," he frowned, "I am sorry about the way I acted the other night. I was drunk and-"

"Who beat you up?" Laila interrupted as I traced his bruises lightly with my finger. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat at Laila's question.

A picture of Jared's shaking figure and blazing eyes flashed into my thoughts. Immediately I shook my head ridding myself of the picture. He wouldn't have? Did he?

"Tom?" I spoke tentatively, "was it Jared?"

Tom's face paled as I spoke. He didn't say a word.

"Was it?"

"Not _just_ him," he murmured. Laila's eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of her head. A shiver ran up my spine. I couldn't believe it. Fury coursed through my veins and I clenched my hands tightly into fists. My face was flushed with anger.

"He had no right," I spat.

"He was just doing the right thing." Tom was defending him. Defending him!

Turning my eyes on him I drunk in the sight of his bruised face and his weak smile. Jared did that. Jared did. I couldn't get my brain around the idea. Abruptly I pulled back from the table.

"Where are you going?" Laila looked worried and she exchanged a glance with Tom.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I spoke hurriedly before running from the room, everyone's eyes followed my departure.

Xxxxxxxx

I thought about getting the nurse to send me home. I thought about phoning my Dad. I thought about storming round to Jared's house. I thought about curling into a ball and sobbing. My heart ached, sometimes I found it hard to breath. So instead at the end of the day I found myself sitting on the school steps, waiting. And waiting. He was five minutes late and I was still waiting. Silently I cursed Jared for making all these foreign emotions surface within me.

I wanted to hit him so badly. Sniffing back a fresh set of tears I pulled my hood over my head with defeat as the very last car left. Even the teachers had left. It was just me. Stupid, pathetic Kim sitting in the rain. He had stood me up. Paul and him were probably hiding somewhere laughing at my naivety. A sharp pain in my stomach made a single tear leak out from behind my closed eyelids.

"I hate him," I screamed wildly. Rain started to fall around me.

"I don't blame you," a soft voice commented.

Startled I looked up through my watery eyes to see a truck lingering in front of the school and a tiny woman walking towards me. Immediately my eyes were drawn to the three long scars that started on her face and disappeared under her sweater. I wondered how long they were. I knew who she was. Everybody knew her story. Her long black hair made her look like some sort of foreign model and her tiny frame made her look like a dancer. Secretly I envied her. Even with her scars she was so painfully beautiful.

When she reached me she pulled me into a bone crushing hug, a fresh sob was caught in my throat. I seemed to melt into her as she stroked my hair.

"Jared has to work late," she told me breaking our hug and wiping a stray tear from my face. Disappointment flooded through me but I tried to keep my face neutral as I wrapped my arms tightly around my body.

"Oh," was all I could come up with as I bent down to retrieve my bag.

"He wants to know if you want to come back to mine and then when he's finished he'll take you out."

A warm feeling began to mix with my blood. Trying desperately to push it away I thought of Tom's face and his pain. It was right about then that I realised I didn't care, the revelation made me want to throw myself off the nearest cliff. I was a horrible, horrible person.

But even I could not deny the throbbing pain in my chest that only seemed to subside when I was with Jared. He was like my drug and without my daily fix i was a goner. I was turning into an addict.

"I hate him," I told Emily fiercely. Rather than defending him like I had expected she just smiled and linked her arm with mine.

"I know you do," she murmured thoughtfully, "Doesn't mean your going to say no though…does it?"

"No," I admitted and I hated myself for it. Seemingly satisfied with my answer she towed me towards her truck. I held back my laughter as she had to jump to get in.

"I hate this stupid truck," she murmured as I sunk into the seat next to hers. I looked at her with confusion.

"Its Sam's," she whined, "my baby broke down last week and he's been too busy to fix it. Sometimes I hate his damn job!"

Unexpectedly I felt at ease with Emily as we drove. She seemed to have a constant sparkle in her eyes whenever she spoke of her fiancée Sam. I wanted a sparkle like that. Too bad I hated the only guy I had ever thought about loving.

_Thoughts?_

_I know I promised a longer chapter but this is more of a filler and I wanted to update quick for you all but I also have an important exam this week and I just could not spend the time on this that I wanted. Hopefully the next chapter will be their "date" and will be a lot longer, I promise I will spend a lot more time on the next one after my exam __J_

_Until next time x_


	8. Falling hard

_Thank you all so much for my reviews and everyone who has story alerted Trampled Heart. You all never fail to make me smile. I hope you enjoy…_

Sighing I wrapped my hands tightly around the mug of hot chocolate in front of me. Emily's eyes never left my face as she sipped carefully at her own cup, standing up every few seconds to stir something delicious smelling in a gigantic pot. The kitchen was so tiny and bright, I felt like at any moment the walls were going to close in around me and I would lose the ability to move. My knee moved up and down as I continued to gaze around the tiny kitchen trying to avoid Emily's knowing look.

"M-maybe I should just go?" I had been aiming to speak firmly but instead the words vomited out as more of a question. Emily's eyebrows drew together as if she was trying to solve a difficult maths equation.

"No," she smiled tightly, "the boys will be home soon." Her eyes flickered impatiently towards the large clock dominating the wall above the cooker.

That was what I was worried about. Racking my brain I tried to think of a sufficient reason to leave as I squirmed restlessly in my chair. My brain was buzzing with so many questions, I just didn't understand Emily's role in everything.

"Jared really likes you, you know," Emily's voice sounded unusually loud in the tiny kitchen. Blushing I locked my eyes onto the table and tightened my grip on the mug.

"He never shuts up about you, actually annoys Paul," she laughed lightly as if she had no worries in the world. Slumping further down in my seat I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I just don't get it!" I exploded. Closing my eyes I tried to stop the kitchen from whirling around me.

"Get what sweetheart?"

A shiver ran down the length of my spine and I blinked back tears as I looked her in the eyes.

"Any of it," I admitted, "he doesn't notice me for years and then _BAM_ he wont leave me alone. He's beating up guys and then disappearing from school without a word. Most of the time I think I hate him but th-"

A vibration rocked the house as shouts sounded from the front door and then a deafening bang. Instantly I sat up straighter and pulled my hand away from Emily's, hastily wiping my eyes with my sleeve. As always I felt his stare before I even saw him, my heart did a little flip in my chest.

Damn!

"Kim?" his voice was soft and it seemed to seep right under my skin. Tensing up I didn't look round instead I watched in awe as the largest man I had ever seen swooped in and kissed Emily chastely on the lips before pulling her into a gentle hug as if he could break her with just the flick of a finger. Involuntarily a sigh escaped my mouth and my heart sank.

"Kim?" Jared repeated. He sounded nervous, which was so unlike him that my curiosity was peeked.

Reluctantly I dragged my head around but once my eyes reached there destination I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open. All of them shared a smirk and I clamped my mouth shut.

"Jacob?" my voice sounded wary. He looked uncomfortable in his new tall frame as he walked awkwardly towards me and like Embry had done captured me into a tight hug. I heard Jared growl. Stepping slightly away from the freakishly large men I tried to keep my eyes away from Jared's bare chest.

"Kim? Are you alright?" I looked around to see Sam looking at me curiously, Emily tucked into his side, she seemed to fit perfectly. Trying to block out all of my unwelcome thoughts I managed a wobbly smile before shrugging in his direction.

"Do you want to go a walk?" Jared ran a hand through his non existent hair and I watched as the others elbowed each other grinning. My heart thumped in my chest. A tiny batch of fear ran though my blood. Unsure I looked at Paul, the only one I really knew.

"Go on, he wont bite," he smiled, "Much."

Standing on shaky legs I gave Emily a brief hug while the others settled themselves at the table seemingly inhaling the cooking food.

"Come back anytime," Emily whispered into my ear, "I'm short on girl talk around here." Surprisingly I found it easy to smile back. I liked Emily, I hoped anything that happened with Jared wouldn't get between us.

Taking off my shoes I let my feet sink into the sand as we walked. Jared already barefoot rolled his toes in the sand and watched me intently as we walked. A tingle ran up my arm as his hand grazed against mine. Trying to discover the courage to speak I stared out at the waves as they crashed against the shore.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his eyes still on me. Taking longer strides I didn't look up at him, scared that if I did I would lose all coherent thoughts.

"You hurt Tom," I managed to choke out, my voice hoarse.

"He. Kissed. You." He seemed to have trouble getting his words out and I watched in fascination as he stopped walking and gritted his teeth together.

"He didn't force himself on me though," I blushed risking a glance at Jared. Snapping his eyes shut a whimper escaped his throat as though he was a pained animal. My hand twitched with want to touch his face but I kept my restraint.

"He still hurt you." Jared's wounded voice seemed to burn a hole in my heart. Abruptly I stopped walking a pushed weakly against his chest.

"And you hurt him! You had no right," I whispered, "No right."

All my anger seemed to have disappeared. It wasn't fair the effect he had on me.

My breath came out as a shaky gasp as his eyes darkened and he gently placed a strand of hair behind my ear. Another big wave crashed against the beach making me jump with fright.

"I know," he shocked me by admitting, "but I would like to earn that right and I promise never to hurt Tom again. Unless he lays another finger on you that is," he added under his breath. Hiding a sudden smile I poked him lightly on the side. My cheeks were flushed but not because of the wind.

"I want to hate you," I admitted quietly drawing a pattern in the sand with my toes. Jared grabbed desperately onto my hand, his eyes sparkling. My legs felt like jelly as his eyes continued to burn into mine.

"You don't hate me already?"

"I wish I did, it would make everything so much easier!"

Sniffing I tried to warn off the sobs that were eager to take over. Jared ran a hand soothingly up and down my arm and unconsciously I leant into his warmth.

"I don't want you to hate me," his voice was unusually soft as he stepped closer to me.

"I don't want to hate you either but sometimes you make it so damn hard," I clamped my eyes shut and concentrated on the feeling of sand between my toes as he took yet another step forward. My breathing hitched as I felt his warm breath caress my face. Opening my eyes I placed my hand in his mouth.

"Not yet," I smiled.

"I'll earn your trust. I promise I wont disappoint you again," he placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. My whole body trembled in pleasure.

"Easier said than done," I surprised myself by sticking my tongue out at him.

"Now… what about a game of tag?" his voice was completely serious. Laughing I sidled up close to him until our chests were almost touching. My heart rate increased as I felt his breathing quicken up. Gently I raised on my tip toes before pushing him gently away.

"Your it!" I called as I ran across the sand.

Jared seemed dazed for a minute before a smile spread across his face.

"Oh your in for it now!"

I screamed as he began to pursue me.

Oh crap! I had forgotten how tall he was.

My laugh caught in my throat as he tackled me to the ground. Maybe my hate for Jared Thail wasn't as strong as I had believed.

Oh no! I couldn't be falling for him again.

Was I?

_Thoughts?_

_I'm sorry it's a tad short.._


	9. Should have been

_Thank you all so much for your reviews, you never fail to make me smile. Here we go with yet another chapter. Sorry it has taken me so long to update…_

Breathing heavily I pushed myself further embracing the burning feeling in my legs. Twigs snapped underneath me and I hastily blew my bangs from my face as I continued to run. Mud splashed at my legs and the onslaught of rain seemed to get heavier as the trees blurred by me in a sea of green.

Clenching my hands into fists I swerved off the path and ran quickly through the familiar undergrowth. Hearing a sharp whining noise I picked up my pace once again, desperate to get to the beach.

"Kim!" a familiar voice called. Heat crept up the back of my neck as I continued to run. Almost immediately my heart rate seemed to sky rocket.

"Kim," he repeated urgently.

"Cant. Stop," I panted pushing my hair off my face again. If I stopped I would never have the energy to start again. Jared jogged easily beside me, a thin layer of sweat coating his bare chest. Trying not to drool I focused on the rhythmic sound of my feet hitting the ground. Glancing down I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I noticed Jared's bare feet.

"It isn't safe to run in the woods," he spoke easily as he ran. Glaring at him I took a deep breath as I tried to match his quickening pace. My muscles protested underneath me but I kept pushing. No one could deny that I wasn't determined.

Determined, I like the sound of that. Determined Kim.

"I always run in the woods," I gasped, "its soothing."

His brown eyes seemed to drink in every inch of my sweating body as he frowned down at me. I envied how easily he made running seem when I was a sweaty wreck.

"Its not safe," he muttered again, mostly to himself. Without thinking I snorted aloud as I continued to match his pace, I wondered if he realised that he was speeding up. My poor legs were burning. La Push was probably the safest place on the planet.

"It isn't," a slight tremble shot through his body, "I don't like the thought of you running out here on your own."

My heart squeezed and I avoided his gaze as my breathing came out in gasps. Spotting the familiar opening in the trees a smile spread across my face. Determined to beat Jared I gave my body one final push and ran as fast as was humanly possible. Creating a small space between Jared and myself I let out a sigh of relief as I stumbled through the trees and fell backwards onto the sand.

Closing my eyes I let the grains of sand slip through my finger. I heard a light thud as Jared sat down beside me, his hand grazing my arm.

"You're a great runner," he murmured softly, I jumped as I felt his warm breath caress my face.

"Well," I shrugged, "it keeps me healthy."

"Your amazing," his hand closed around mine, "I have to come see you the next time there's a track competition."

"Oh," I laughed, "I'm not on the school team anymore."

"Your not?" his eyebrows shot high up into his forehead as his eyes continued to trace my face.

"Apparently I'm too short," I smirked, "and anyway I love running. Have you seen those girls on the team? They train so hard that all the fun is just drummed out of them, they have no spirit. I run for pleasure not to win."

Jared was silent. Squirming restlessly in the sand I tried to resist the urge to look at him. Had I said something wrong? When had I even began to care?

"Sometimes I wonder how I ever got so lucky," he breathed. Turning on my side I locked my eyes on Jared. Trying to remember how to breath I observed the strong set of his jaw and the lazy smile that had transformed his face.

Almost without thinking I leant into his warm hand as it cupped my face. My heart skipped a beat as he rubbed soothing circles on my cheek.

Only when he brought his face closer to mine did I stiffen. Jared's eyes seemed to flash in pain.

"I'm sorry," he sighed taking his hand away from my cheek. Missing the warmth I ducked under his arm and snuggled my face into his bare chest inhaling his woodsy scent.

"No," I tried to keep my voice steady, "I'm sorry. I don't know why you have put up with me for so long."

His arms wrapped securely around my back as if trying to hold me together. He had suddenly become my rock and I wondered how I had ever lived without him.

I was falling. Falling hard. And it terrified me.

"Bethany was a mistake," he spoke into my hair and it first I thought I hadn't heard him correctly, "I was in a bad place and she was just there, it just sort of….happened," he finished lamely. Pushing my face closer to his chest I tried to sniff back my tears.

"It doesn't make it any easier to trust you," I admitted as he toyed with a loose strand of my hair.

"I know."

"It doesn't make it hurt any less." I sobbed into his chest. His arms tightened around me.

"I know," his voice cracked, "I cant promise to make the past disappear but I can promise to try my hardest to win your affections."

I let out a weak laugh.

"You're almost there," I smiled a watery smile up at him as he wiped a few loose tears away from my face with his thumb. My whole body seemed to hum with pleasure. My legs tangled with his as our eyes continued to drink in the sight of each other in our most vulnerable states.

"How about I take you for an ice cream?" he grinned suddenly.

How did he always know exactly what I needed?

A sudden warmth seemed to seep into my blood as I realised what I was about to do. Reaching out my hand I took his face in my hands. My breathing hitched as I pressed my lips lightly against his. Fireworks seemed to explode within me.

It was perfect. It should have been my first kiss.

I think it was safe to say that I was madly in love with Jared Thail.

What had I gotten myself in to?

_Thoughts?_

_Sorry it's a little short, I was a little short on ideas but I promise to try and make it up to you next chapter __J_


	10. I cant dance

_Thank you all so much for you reviews. I am sorry it has been so long, I have been so wrapped up with schoolwork and my other story Without you. This is a short chapter but I promise there is much more to come and I will try and update more quickly in the future. Here we go…_

"You kissed him!"

Slouching further down in my seat I picked at the salad in front of me as my face flushed a deep red. Around me the cafeteria seemed to have gone silent, but that was probably just my overactive imagination getting on top of me again.

"Shut up Laila," I groaned flicking a piece of lettuce in her direction. Her leg knocked mine underneath the table and her smile widened. I wished I had never even told her, but it had been eating away at me all day and I just had to tell someone.

"I just cant believe it. My little Kimmy is all grown up," she cocked her head to the side slightly to look at me, "I remember the days we used to curse Jared to the deepest pits of hell and burn anything that reminded you of him and now your sucking his face off!"

"Laila," I mumbled my face heating up again, "it was just one little kiss. It doesn't mean anything." I traced the familiar patterns on the cafeteria table remembering the feel of Jared's soft, hesitant lips on mine with the sound of the waves crashing behind us. My heart jumped a little in my chest.

"Sure," Laila rolled her eyes before biting into her baguette, "it didn't mean anything for the guy you've been crushing on your whole live to roll around in the sand and kiss you. Don't talk bullshit Kim."

"_Laila_," I snapped, "seriously just drop it. You never know he might have regretted it and never want to speak to me again."

"I seriously doubt that," Laila's voice was low as she sat up straighter in her seat and hastily ran a hand through her tangled hair, "because he's walking towards us right at this very moment."

"What?" I hissed my head whipping around of its own accord but I knew Laila was speaking the truth, I could feel the slight tingling sensation running down the length of my spine before I even set eyes on him.

He was striding towards us, his eyes determined as he balanced a tray piled high with food in his hands. Behind him Paul growled lowly as Embry knocked into him smirking, while Jacob looked stiff and regretful as he glanced over to where Quil sat. Alone. A frown etched itself upon my face.

"Kim," Jared breathed softly as he swooped in and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. My heart skipped a beat as the others fell into their own seats sharing knowing looks. Laila looked flustered, which was unusual for her as her eyes narrowed in Jared's direction. I shuffled restlessly around in my seat.

"Jared," I murmured unintentionally leaning into his warmth, he didn't seem to mind as draped his arm around the back of my chair and pulled me closer. Across the table Paul snickered as he shovelled food into his mouth.

"So," Embry grinned at me, "do you like dogs Kim?"

Confused at the strange turn of conversation I scrunched up my nose and glanced at Jared out of the corner of my eye, he sat perfectly still with a slight frown on his face as if waiting for me to answer. I shared a confused look with Laila but shrugged none the less.

"I don't not like them," I answered pushing away my salad. Other than the burning sensation from Jared's eyes on me, I could feel the rest of the cafeteria staring at our table. I could almost read their thought. What is Jared doing with his arm around geeky Kim? And why are the rest of them even talking to her? To be honest, those questions were also bothering me. I let out a squeak as Jared leant forward to brush a strand of hair away from my face.

"Are you alright?" Jared asked lowly as I glanced down at my hands. As always his voice seemed to worm its way into the depths of my stomach. I was thankful to Paul as he tossed a tomato at Embry thus starting up a war between them, the noise gave me something to hide underneath.

"I'm fine," I murmured, "but why are you sitting here Jared?"

"Do you not want me to sit here?" he retracted his arm from around me and I immediately missed the warmth, his brown eyes widened with honest confusion.

"I do," I glanced up at him and immediately regretted it, he looked so sad, "I j-just don't get any of this. Its obvious Jacob wants to sit with Quil and if you want to sit with me, you don't have to drag your friends along too. Lots of other people would kill to sit with them," I spoke lamely. Jared looked pained as his eyes quickly flickered to where Quil sat slumped over his food. A brief flash of anger embraced me as I continued to watch Embry and Paul as they grinned and flung food at each other while their friend sat alone. I knew what it was like to be alone, it wasn't a nice feeling. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

"Quil's a difficult subject right now," he gritted his teeth and forced out a smile as he looked down at me, "and I want to sit with you Kim. And as for the guys they wanted to as well. You don't realise how kind and special you are. Why wouldn't we want to sit with you?"

"I-I jus-" I started my eyes flickering to Jared's lips and the way his eyes seem to drink in my whole body as if he was scared I would vanish. It unsettled me. Only a few short months before his eyes would have skirted over me in annoyance before flashing back to the latest girl on his arm. His new depth and understanding had come from nowhere, what if he suddenly went back to his old ways just as quickly?

"_Kim_!" Laila snapped her fingers in front of my face breaking my trance like state. I realised I had been staring at Jared for a good five minutes.

"Yeah Kim," Paul smirked, "you know you'll eventually get bored of looking at Jared, where as if you were with someone like me…" Jared growled lowly cutting off whatever Paul was about to say while I bit my lip. I wriggled around uncomfortably in my seat as Jared pulled me almost possessively against him. Laila hid a smirk behind her hand.

"As I was saying. About the dance-" she began still grinning. All the boys turned to stare at Jared and I immediately while I stomped on Laila's foot underneath the table. Hard. I couldn't believe she had brought up the dance. She had no sense of self preservation what so ever. Sometimes I wondered how we ever became friends.

"_Kim_! What the hell was that for?" she hissed narrowing her eyes.

"Ohh," Embry snickered elbowing a silent Jake in the ribs, "looks like Kimmy has a secret date that she doesn't want Jared to know about?"

Kimmy? Where the hell had that come from? I glared at Embry.

"She could always cancel," Laila winked at me urging me to play along with her,

"Actually," I murmured playing with a loose thread on my jeans, "I'm not going."

Jared gently tilted my head up so I had no option to look into his eyes. He had a lopsided smile on his face and a shiver ran through the length of my body as he leant closer to me.

"Will you go to the dance with me?" his low breath tickled my ear, and I was thankful that I didn't start hyperventilating like an idiot. Laila had her hand pressed over her heart as if she was watching some cheesy romance movie while Paul was miming being sick.

Jared looked so hopeful, his brown eyes shining and his smile wider than I had ever seen it before. Damn.

"No," I spoke quickly grabbing Laila's water and taking a quick swig, "isn't it warm in here?" I said trying to change the subject.

"_No_?" Laila screeched, "you did not just say no to Jared bloody Thail!" She was almost foaming at the mouth and all the boys looked like they were trying to burst into fits of laughter.

"Laila," I warned trying to kick her underneath the table again. Once again the whole cafeteria seemed to have gone silent, even Quil was looking up from his food with mild interest. I slumped even lower down in my seat.

"Why don't you want to go with me? Do I embarrass you?" Jared's voice was soft but curious as he laced my hand with his own. I wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground and disappear.

His words almost made me laugh. Him embarrass me? In my eyes Jared had never been able to set a foot wrong, to me he was perfection. Laila raised her eyebrows at me from across the table while I groaned. I was never going to speak to her again.

"I cant dance," I whispered quietly my face flaming red.

"What?" Jared frowned pulling my chair closer to his. Laila had heard me, I clamped my eyes shut as she muffled a laugh behind her hand.

"I cant dance. _Okay_?" I admitted, "I'll probably embarrass you."

"Don't be silly Kim," Jared placed his warm hand on my cheek, "you could never do anything to embarrass me. Your perfect," I didn't even have time to prepare as he placed his lips softly on mine. My heart rate sped up as I grabbed him tighter against me. I deepened the kiss as he pulled me over onto his lap and I ran my hands through his short hair earning a grumble of satisfaction from Jared.

"Get a room," Paul called as he threw a piece of food at me. Scrunching my nose up I laughed as I broke the kiss and leant back into Jared's arms.

"I'll go to the dance with you," I whispered quietly, "but on the condition you dont let me go for one second if we dance, okay?"

"If you want," he smiled, "i wont even let your feet touch the ground." He squeezed my hand tightly.

Jared Thail was going to be the death of me I thought as he pulled me in for another kiss.

None of us noticed as Quil ran from the room his figure blurring slightly and the expression of anger engulfing his features. His food was left, uneaten, at his table.

_Thoughts?_


	11. Unexpected visitors

**_Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight I just play around with her characters and use them for my own selfish needs. And McFly sing the song used in his chapter, it is not mine, I have just used it to make my characters look stupid._**

_Thanks you so much for all your reviews, you never fail to make me smile. Here's another chapter. Here we go…_

"I'm making a list of all of things that I miss whenever we're far apart. The way that you kiss, the taste of your lips. I'm telling you from the heart cause baby I just wanna knowww…" Laila sang loudly twirling around the kitchen laughing. Joining in I slid off the counter and shook my hips comically as Laila snorted.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya love me?" I screeched picking up a fork to use as a microphone. Laila reached for the radio and turned it up as loud as it would go. I twirled around as I continued to shake my hips.

"No. I don't love you," she smirked flicking pancake batter at me. Trying to pout and failing miserably I giggled as she pulled on my hand and spun me towards her.

"Do you need a little tiiiiime..?" I stuck my tongue out at Laila as I wriggled from her grasp. She narrowed her eyes in mock anger as she began to chase me around the kitchen.

"No I definitely don't need time," she laughed above the music. Crawling under the table to get out of the reach I stuck my leg out to trip her up.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya want me to hold you when you cry?" I sniffed mockingly and rolled my eyes. Laila dipped her fingers into the pancake batter and grabbing my leg pulled me out form underneath the table. Wriggling around the floor I let out a scream as she tickled my sides an evil glint in her eyes.

"Pfft as if I would cry," she muttered sarcastically pulling me to my feet. Shaking my hip I twirled around with my hands in the air. Laila grabbed a spoon and shimmied towards me. My stomach hurt from laughing too much. We both glanced at the radio and grabbed each others hands as we continued to shake out hips.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me?" we both screamed dramatically through our laughter holding our make shift microphones up to each others lips.

"Oh definitely," a low rumble came from the doorway. Squeaking loudly I slipped on some pancake batter on the floor and fell into Laila's arms as my eyes flickered to the doorway of the kitchen. My face flushed a bright red and behind me Laila let out a high pitched sound as she stopped dancing.

Paul stood smirking in the doorway as his eyes raked the length of my body while Jared's eyes were sparkling and his mouth literally hung open as he gazed at the scene in front of him. The music continued to play in the background but Embry's laughter seemed to drown it out.

"Oh my God," Laila groaned picking a piece of food from her hair, "kill me _now_."

"Gladly," I muttered under my breath trying to regain my balance and used my hair as a human shield so the boys couldn't scrutinize my embarrassment. I could have sworn that I had locked the front door.

"I thought," Embry gasped between laughs, "that you c-couldn't dance Kimmy."

Turning my back on them I scraped my hair into a messy bun as I turned down the radio and tried to clean up. I heard Embry's wail of pain and I smirked slightly to myself, he had deserved that. Jared always knew what to do to make me feel better.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Laila asked, her voice still slightly breathless. She didn't encounter embarrassment much and when she did she found it hard to forget. My face flushed a deeper red again as I remembered the way I was shaking my hips and screaming the lyrics. I wondered how long they had been watching us.

"We came to see the show of course," I could hear the smirk in Paul's voice without turning around and I could tell Jared was watching my every movement as heat crept slowly up my neck. Pulling at the bottom of my too small tank top I wished the floor would just swallow me up.

"Kim's Dad had to stay late at the council meeting and we offered to bring over some pizzas and stay with you for a bit." A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as Jared spoke but I still didn't turn around trying to calm myself. Running a cloth over the counter I ignored Embry's remark of 'you missed a spot.'

"We were making pancakes," Laila spoke almost defensively. Turning around I noticed the stubborn set of her jaw and the slight pink tint still staining her cheeks. I leant against the counter as my eyes briefly met Jared's, he smiled widely.

"Was that before or after you decided to paint the kitchen with pancake mixture?" Paul muttered raising an eyebrow. Laila scowled at him.

"Pizza's here," a low voice announced as he walked into the kitchen placing the pizzas on the table. I forgot my embarrassment for a second as I ran up and hugged him tightly inhaling his new scent of the forest.

"Quil," I murmured almost disbelievingly. Hadn't it only been the day before that he had sat alone minus his friends? Trying to fit my arms around his newly developed frame I realised he had experienced a growth spurt like the other. Something wasn't right, but I had no time to analyse it as Quil picked me up off the ground and spun me around. I buried my face in his chest, he smelled so much like Jared.

"I better let you go now," he whispered into my ear, "or Jared might break every bone in my body."

Surprising myself I jumped out of Quil's arms and into Jared's just as quickly, receiving a light kiss on the cheek from him which sent familiar shivers down my spine. Laila who still sat at the table rolled her eyes at my dramatics. I felt a little drunk on the air around me, it was strange for me to feel so free.

"How come I didn't get that welcome?" Embry frowned mockingly as he grabbed a piece of pizza from the box and stuffed it into his mouth. Jared pulled me tighter into his arms and pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"Because she has better taste than a self centred jackass such as yourself Embry," I could fell Jared shaking slightly with his arms around me, his skin seemed boiling hot as always but I turned to frown at him.

"Your not cold are you?" I murmured, "we could shut the windows?"

Around me the boys burst into fits of laughter, but Jared only smiled gently down at me. I didn't get the joke.

"No," he kissed me chastely on the lips, "I'm not cold."

Lily sat at the table looking slightly like the was in the middle of a mental hospital as Paul, Embry and Jared threw insults at each other over her head. So much for our girls night in. I shot her an apologetic smile but it didn't quite reach my eyes as there was no place else I'd rather be than in Jared's arms.

An hour later I was smiling triumphantly as I fell back onto the armchair and snuggled into Jared's arms. Quil looked outraged as he glared down at the controller in his hand and Laila merely rolled her eyes as she flicked a page in her magazine.

"I cant believe your girlfriend beat me again," I froze in Jared's arms as Quil spoke, "are you some sort of weird Xbox fanatic who stays up all night playing? I bet you are!"

"No," I managed to choke out still frozen, "I just have raw talent."

"Upset that you got beat by a girl," Paul elbowed Quil as he grabbed the controller I had left on the floor, "winner plays Embry?"

"Sure," Quil spoke grudgingly still glaring at me.

The word girlfriend seemed to consume my whole body. It seemed to echo in my mind. Such a casual use of the word from Quil made me wonder if that's what Jared referred to me as. Jared sensing my anxiety tugged on a loose strand of my hair and shuffled me around on his lap.

"You don't have to be my girlfriend if you don't want to," he smiled limply, it was almost as if he always knew what I was thinking, "I mean I can hardly blame you for not wanting to be considering I haven't even taken you out on a proper date yet-"

"Of course I want to be your girlfriend," I interrupted shrilly.

"Play hard to get," Laila mouthed from across the room. The phrase made me laugh, I had never been so willing to just throw myself into Jared's arms. 'Hard to get,' had never really been my thing anyway.

"I promise to take you out on a proper date soon," Jared ran his hands up and down my arms as if trying to warm me up. He was like my own personal radiator. I laughed a little as he picked a piece of food out of my hair that I had obviously missed earlier. Scanning the empty pizza boxes on the ground and listening to the sound of Quil's groans of defeat I wondered what I had ever done before on a Friday night without Jared. He seemed to complete me.

"You don't have to," I laced his hand with mine, admiring the way they seemed to fit perfectly together, "we're going to the dance soon. And you're here tonight."

"I cant believe your expectations of my originality are that low," he winked to let me know he was joking as he continued to play with my hair, "this is going to be one of the best dates of your life."

"Well I haven't been on many dates," I laughed, "so that wont be hard to beat."

"Well we will have to change that. Wont we?" My heart skipped a beat as his face moved closer to mine. Breathing in the scent of trees and rain I inched forwards a smile on my face. He placed his hand lightly on my hips and shifted me closer to him. Our lips were mere centimetres from touching. I licked my lips in anticipation.

"_Kim_!" a high pitched voice exclaimed. So shocked I fell from Jared's lap my lips still pursed. Landing with a thud on the ground I let out a wail of pain as Jared knelt down quickly beside me. Looking around him I chewed on my lip as my eyes widened. No way. No fricken way.

"Mum?" I croaked. Another figure appeared behind her pulling a suitcase along. Everyone was silent. Even Paul managed to stay quiet.

"Jared?" the figure spoke quietly. My heart seemed to slam against my chest as I gasped for breath. My mind flashed back to the kitchen and Jared's hands inching their way under her shirt, his lips on her skin. I shivered and lowered my gaze.

"Bethany?" Jared's voice was hesitant and glancing up I saw he was looking at me rather than her. I was eternally grateful for that tiny gesture. Laila's eyes were practically popping out of her head and Bethany looked confused as Jared relaced his hand with mine. My mum looked furious.

"No offence," I spat, "but can you please explain what the hell you are doing here?"

_Thoughts?_


	12. Realisations

"_Mum?" I croaked. Another figure appeared behind her pulling a suitcase along. Everyone was silent. Even Paul managed to stay quiet. _

"_Jared?" the figure spoke quietly. My heart seemed to slam against my chest as I gasped for breath. My mind flashed back to the kitchen and Jared's hands inching their way under her shirt, his lips on her skin. I shivered and lowered my gaze._

"_Bethany?" Jared's voice was hesitant and glancing up I saw he was looking at me rather than her. I was eternally grateful for that tiny gesture. Laila's eyes were practically popping out of her head and Bethany looked confused as Jared relaced his hand with mine. My mum looked furious._

"_No offence," I spat, "but can you please explain what the hell you are doing here?"_

My Mum's eyes narrowed as they flickered between me and Jared and then down to my pancake splattered boy shorts and tank top. Despite my anger I could not help but flush a deep pink under her scrutiny, she was still my mother after all. The silence was so loud that I felt like I might go crazy.

"M-maybe we should go," Quil scratched at the back of his neck with obvious discomfort. Jared reached his hand down and pulled me gently up off the floor, without thinking I sidled closer to his side and Bethany's eyes widened further. I wriggled uncomfortably beside him trying to shake the image of Bethany and him from my head. I felt a little nauseous.

"That's the best idea I have heard all day," my mum spoke through gritted teeth and I watched on helplessly as the guys edged closer towards the door. I grabbed Jared's hand tighter.

"Don't worry," he whispered low enough for only me to hear, "I'm not going anywhere." His eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion but his voice was sincere and I loved him for it. I felt suddenly awful for hiding a part of my life from him, it had never been intentional but it just hurt too much to talk about. Everything was so messed up.

"I'll see you tomorrow Kim," Laila's voice was uncertain as if checking to make sure I was alright, I gave her a slight nod, "Mrs Connweller," she muttered tightly before fleeing from the room everyone else hot on her heels.

"Jared," My mum's voice was stern, "I think its time you left too." I flinched as I heard the front door slam closed.

"No," I muttered, "he's not going anywhere."

"I don't understand," Bethany's voice was laced with confusion as her eyes stayed fixated on mine and Jared's entangled hands, "when did this happen-"

"What are you doing here Mum?" I interrupted, "you better leave before Dad gets back."

I thought about the zombie Dad I had just gradually began to get rid of- the one who stared at the television for hours on end but when I asked what the show was about he had no clue and the Dad who pretended half heartedly to listen but never paid any real attention- I couldn't stand it if she hurt him again. I had only just gotten my real Dad back, I couldn't lose him again.

"Your father and I have some things to work out," surprisingly my Mum's voice cracked a little but I forced myself to keep a calm composure. I had to remind myself that I didn't care about her anymore, she had caused me more hurt than I could even care to remember.

"What the hell is there to work out?" I grabbed Jared's hand even tighter in mine, "you went on a business trip, screwed some guy came home again and then left."

Beside me Jared coughed gruffly as if trying to hide his shock, he pulled me closer into his side as if trying to silently comfort me. Bethany was still open mouthed and she shuffled from foot to foot as I hurled insults at our mother. My mum's face paled.

"This is between me and your father-" she began in a throaty whisper.

"Like hell it is," I muttered darkly, "what you did involves all of us. I was the one who had to look after Dad when you left, I was the one who no longer had a Mum. I was the one who had to pick up the pieces. So whatever else you plan to destroy involves all of us."

"Kim," Jared's voice was pained as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, it was right about then that I realised I was crying. Damn her. I had promised myself that I would be strong when I saw her again, I wasn't supposed to show her how much she hurt me.

"We fell out of love," my Mum croaked as she wrung her hands together, "it happens all the time darling."

My heart slammed against my chest at the use of the familiar endearment. I wanted to hate her so badly. Bethany hugged her stomach as if she was in pain.

"That was no excuse to do what you did," I tugged Jared towards the door, "we're going out."

"But its dark," my mum protested.

"You never go out," Bethany blurted at the same time her eyes once again flickering to Jared. A shiver ran down the length of my spine as Jared rubbed soothing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb as if reminding me of his presence.

"Don't wait up," I snapped on the way out of the door. The door closed with a resounding bang. I doubled over as I breathed in the fresh air. The night sky seemed to cast a shadow over me.

"Kim, are you okay?" Jared's voice was soft but I took a step away from him forcing myself not to look up into his eyes, if I did I knew I would crumble again. And I didn't want to be that Kim anymore. The weak Kim, I had vowed to leave her far behind.

"Lets run," I said instead grabbing my converse off the front porch and pushing my legs forward before he had the time to protest.

"Kim!" he shouted after me but I ignored him, my eyes stung as I ran against the wind. Within seconds Jared's pace matched mine, my breathing sounded uneven beside his calming breaths. Embracing the burning sensation in my legs I left the familiar houses behind as I turned off into the woods.

"What have I said about running in the woods?" Jared's voice was low and I felt my barrier disolving around me as my Mum's face flashed in my thoughts.

"I-I-" I gasped my voice tight as I tried to hold the tears in.

"Kim," Jared's voice was gentle as he placed his warm hand on my arm. I continued to push my legs forward, I wanted to feel the burn. The pain.

"Kim-" he said again.

His voice was so gentle, so full of caring and warmth that I stumbled to a stop. Without a word he gathered me up into his arms and pressed me against this warm chest letting my tears soak his shirt. He always knew what to do.

"I-I'm s-sorry," I hiccupped pressing myself closer to him as he stroked my hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he murmured pressing his lips lightly against my head, "none of this is your fault."

"Of course it is," I whispered, "I could see them drifting apart, I could see the unhappiness in my Mum's eyes but I did nothing to stop it. I knew it was only a matter of time and I did nothing to stop it," I sobbed. Around us the trees danced in the wind and the noises of the surrounding animals drowned out my noisy sobs.

"You cant stop people from falling out of love, you can only delay it. Would you rather your Dad still be unhappy? Would you rather your Mum was still living a lie?" He was asking me the questions that I had asked myself countless times over the months following my mum's departure yet when Jared spoke I forced myself to listen, why did he always know the right things to say?

"Sometimes I do wish that," I croaked hiding my face deeper into his chest, "I am so selfish. Sometimes I just wish it was back the way it was before. We may not all of been happy but at least we were together. At least we were a family."

"You are still a family," he murmured tilting my face up to look at him. His eyes shone with understanding and pain, and I found myself getting lost in them.

"But I hate my Mum for what she did," I admitted, "and Bethany I-I don't know if I can forget.." I trailed off my face flushing red under Jared's scrutiny.

"I love you," Jared's voice was so fierce that it caught me off guard, "I love you and only you, Bethany is nothing more to me than my girlfriend's sister. You are the one I want to kiss constantly, you are the one I want to make happy when you are upset. I understand that you might not feel the same way about me yet but Kim I really do love y-"

"I love you too," I blurted cutting him off mid-sentence, my heart was thumping loudly in my chest as my whole being swelled with love for the person who stood before me.

"You do?" he murmured almost disbelievingly, his face was so open like a child's and he was grinning like I was his world.

"I really do," I realised. Despite everything, I really did love Jared Thail, and for once I wasn't scared. My breath caught in my throat as he bent down and pressed his lips softly against mine, it was like out first kiss all over again. Fireworks exploded in my chest as I pressed tighter against him. His arms snaked around my back as he broke off the kiss and pressed his lips on the top of my head again.

"I don't want to go home," I murmured softly. I didn't want my mum to ruin the blissfulness engulfing me.

"Then don't," Jared stepped away from me to hold my hand, "lets go sleep on the couch at Sam and Emily's."

"Thank you," I whispered standing up on my tip toes to press another light kiss on Jared's lips.

"For what?" he smiled softly.

"Everything," I mirrored his smile, "Thank you for everything."

Jared tucked me into his side as we began to walk. A wolf howled in the distance.

_Thoughts?_

_Sorry for the long wait, I have been studying like mad for exams. Thank you for all your reviews, they are what keep me going. _

_If you have a moment to spare, I have started a Paul imprint story called 'Not another freekin fairytale', I would really appreciate your thoughts on whether I should continue on with the story. Thanks. _


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